"The Naked Truth about Adam and Eve" or "How Adam and Eve Stopped Complaining and Learned to Love the Hard World"

In the beginning, God created the dinosaurs, but since the dinosaurs got increasingly violent and stupid, He got so angry at them that singlehandedly wiped them out by shooting a meteor at them. But then, God was worried that He had no life to rule over, so he created monkeys, which evolved into apes, which evolved into hominids, which evolved into humans, and the first two hominids that became human were Adam and Eve. Like the hominids that came before them, and unlike the neanderthals and modern humans that came after them, Adam and Eve were, believe it or not, naked and unlike the hominids, the neanderthals, and the modern humans combined, Adam and Eve were the only two people who lived in a green utopia called the "Garden of Eden", where everything they ate grew on trees, including meat. But there was one thing that Adam and Eve were not allowed to eat, a "forbidden fruit" called the "Apple". The reason why they weren't allowed to eat the Apple, because God was trying to see if they knew the difference between right and wrong, as well as the difference between good and evil, which was also the reason why the "Apple", the "First Apple to be more specific, was called the "Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil". But when a mischevious snake stole the "Apple", and, since he is still considered to this day one of the only non-human creatures to be able to talk, offered it to Adam and Eve, God then reached his arm, grabbed the naked primitive human couple, and took them to the "Hard World", a place full of caves and volcanos, even though dinosaurs were nowhere to be seen, despite some of them living there before they went extinct. Adam and Eve had to work their fingers to the bone in order to survive living there, and since men treated women differently from themselves, even during that time, Adam became the first human to hunt for wild animals, while Eve gathered fruits and vegetables. They went back to the "Garden of Eden", but when they got there, they discovered God had destroyed the "Garden", so they can live in the "Hard World" for the rest of their lives. They constantly complained to God, but He ignored them because that he knew they were troublemakers ever since they ate the "First Apple". But luckily, more hominids started to become human, and when Adam and Eve saw a tribe full of early humans, they decided greet the tribe with gifts, such as animal meat and berries for them to eat, and since the animal meat wasn't decayed, and since the berries weren't poisonous, they were soon admitted into the tribe and they all lived happily ever after. The End.